"I'm doing this every day and getting nowhere."
"My life revolves around my dog's training."
The hardest part of separation anxiety training isn't usually the training itself. It's showing up again tomorrow.
And the day after that. And the day after that…
When you've been practising tiny absences for weeks. When progress feels painfully slow. When your friends are popping out for coffee without a second thought and you're busy arranging pet sitters, family help, dog walkers and your entire schedule around your dog's training.
I know because I've been there before with Wolfgang. And now I'm going through it again with Bonzie.
So here are my tips on how to stay motivated when separation anxiety training starts feeling like Groundhog Day:
✔️ Stop focusing on the end goal.
Thinking about the 2, 4, 6 hours you hope to reach can feel overwhelming. Focus on each days’ training session instead.
✔️ Track and celebrate your wins and reward yourself!
Write them down. The human brain is brilliant at spotting what still needs work and terrible at recognising progress. Those extra 10 seconds, the first resettle, choosing to relax sooner, a calmer body language. It all counts.
And celebrate those milestone (big and small)! People outside the separation anxiety world may not understand why you're excited about a 2-minute absence. People inside it absolutely do. Treat yourself to something exciting whenever you reach a new milestone.
✔️ Look back regularly.
When you're in the middle of it, it often feels like nothing is changing. Compare today to three months ago, not yesterday.
✔️ Accept that progress isn't linear.
Every separation anxiety specialist I know has seen setbacks, plateaus and unexpected bumps in the road. They are part of the process, not proof that you've failed.
✔️ Build a support system (dog sitters, friends, family)
So you can look after yourself. This one is important, to take care of yourself too.
Meet friends. Exercise. Do things that refill your own cup whenever you can.
And finally…if you're feeling tired, frustrated or demotivated right now, you're in very good company. Most people working through separation anxiety feel that way at some point.
Keep going. The daily grind won't last forever.